I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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