You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize