If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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