I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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