Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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