Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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