I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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