you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize