My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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