Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize