there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
So squirting runs in the family.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize