im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Shame is for Republicans.
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