I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
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Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
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Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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