Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize