Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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