The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
