Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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