dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize