You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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