Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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