i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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