Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
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I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
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I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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