you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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