he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize