I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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