Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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