your room smells of hookers.
And success
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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