i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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