oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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