I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize