Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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