Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize