Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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