Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize