A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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