The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize