508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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