Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize