its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
