Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
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She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
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I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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