It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize