How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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