i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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