Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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