phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize