I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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