I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
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There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
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I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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