Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
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Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
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there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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