On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
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turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
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And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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