they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
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I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
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My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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