got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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