I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize